well well it's been long tht i havn't updated my blog....been busy with work and stuff...i know tht's no excuse to not write...casue one keeps a blog because it helps busy people keep their thought in check. anywz
the last week has been a real hectic one. been working on 4 simultaneous project. havn't had time to take a break. well guess what. thursday i was busy working (Actually was stuck with a problem for over an hour) and the office boy comes with a red rose and a card and gives it to me. i was in a state of shock for a sec cause if u know me u would know tht when in a problem i have no idea wht goes around. anywz by the time i was back everyone in office had gone oohhhhhh!! u know how people go. well there she was outside the office waiting for me. it came as quite a shock. i didn't know y she had come cause just in the morning i had talked with her on the phone and also we had sort of broken up. or at least i had told her my intension of breaking up. then she told me she doesn't want to break up. and will not let it happen.
strange! even i thought so. people can't bear me for a continous 5 min and here she was after 3 months and still wanting to bear me more. I don't know. This is not working out for me and i can't seem to explain it to her. All the love thing is fine but no body can force it to work. We can try and believe me god I tried. I still do love her but still it does not work out for me. I feel I am in chains. I guess I am made to be a free machine working all the time. As long as I am doing something I am fine but as soon as I have to sit and do nothing it seems a total waste of time and I start getting irritated. Even I need a break once in a while but tht break has to be on my terms.
Life is complicated as it is without all this love thing making it complicated still.
All my life I wanted to truly fall in love and when I did it just doesn't seem right. Ekta says maybe it's not love but just an infatuation. Well there could be it's possibilities too. Whatever it is I am not ready yet for it. I still need more time with me and my work and my career. Right now that's the only thing I want to be thinking about. But I still have no idea how can I get it accross her. She just doen't seem to understand. Well will forcing it make it work. I don't know. She wants to try that. I am at my wits end. You try.
Life has been good over the couple of weeks besides this one matter.
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